How does one join the association?
Traditionally, you may be invited by an existing member who recognizes in you qualities or unmet spiritual needs and desires to share the possibilities of the association with you. More recently, potential members have come to us through this website as they search online for Salesian spirituality and related groups.
Indications that this association may be right for you are: the desire to read the Scriptures and pray more; frequent attendance at Mass; a love of learning more about the Roman Catholic faith, its teachings and history; and an interest in Salesian spirituality and/or deepening your spiritual life.
If you do not know someone who is already an associate, you can be put in contact with one who will get to know you, or you may get to know your pastor and ask him to propose you. There is a written application that is submitted on your behalf by an associate or a priest. To learn more, contact an associate, who will guide you through this process.
The Next Step
Prospective members of the association begin with a 3-month period of prayerful meditation called the aspirantship. As an aspirant, you will be assigned a companion, a spiritual friend to accompany you on your journey and to help you understand the spirituality of St. Francis de Sales and our association. During this time, it is important to make a prayerful decision about whether God is calling you to Salesian spirituality. If you decide to continue, the next step is the process of formation.
The Time of Formation
St. Francis de Sales recognized how easily we can be overwhelmed by our need to grow in many directions at one time. This is especially true today! Therefore, the association offers a 2-year program of formation that focuses on our unique series of written booklets known as probations, supplemented by the Catholic Church's Vatican Council II teachings, writings of St. Francis de Sales and association history. Probations are more than readings: they require reflection, prayer, and meditation on aspects of the love of God, virtues, and the spirituality of St. Francis de Sales. Monthly contact with your companion helps you to understand and assimilate what you are learning into your everyday life.
The Commitment
Upon completion of your initial formation, you decide if you want to commit, through a Salesian consecration (without vows), to living your life grounded in the Gospel and formed by the teachings of St. Francis de Sales as a part of this spiritual family. If you choose to do so, you then become a consecrated associate in the St. Francis de Sales Association. As associates, we freely give and consecrate our lives to God.
After consecration, we continue our formation as we study probations that help us grow in the love of God and as a disciple of St. Francis de Sales.
Living as a Spiritual Family
St. Francis de Sales reminds us that we are called to holiness in the ordinary circumstances of our daily lives. The association provides a practical means of living a life devoted to God with a family of spiritual friends, united by the bond of love, to support us along the way. Our family spirit is nourished by our continued study of probations, monthly gatherings, contact with our companions, days of recollection, and annual retreats.
What are the requirements for applicants?
Simply to be a practicing Catholic woman: single, married, widowed, separated, or divorced.
Do you have to be Catholic to become an associate?
Yes. We are a lay Catholic association.
Is the St. Francis de Sales Association only for women?
Yes, but we are affiliated with the Sons of St Francis de Sales for men. Please contact a Son of St. Francis de Sales for more information.
How long does it take to become an associate (member)?
Two years and 3 months, sometimes longer but never less. However, there is flexibility built in, to allow each person to complete formation at their own pace.
What is formation?
St. Francis de Sales recognized how easily we can be overwhelmed by our need to grow in many directions at one time. This is especially true today! Therefore, the association offers a 2-year program of formation that focuses on our unique series of written booklets known as probations, supplemented by the Catholic Church's Vatican Council II teachings, writings of St. Francis de Sales and association history. Probations are more than readings: they require reflection, prayer, and meditation on aspects of the love of God, virtues, and the spirituality of St. Francis de Sales. Monthly contact with your assigned companion helps you to understand and assimilate what you are learning into your everyday life.
Upon completion of your initial formation, you decide if you want to commit, through a Salesian consecration (without vows), to living your life grounded in the Gospel and formed by the teachings of St. Francis de Sales as a part of this spiritual family. If you choose to do so, you then become a consecrated associate in the St. Francis de Sales Association. As associates, we freely give and consecrate our lives to God.
After consecration, we continue our formation as we study probations that help us grow in the love of God and as a disciple of St. Francis de Sales.
What is a probation?
The word "probation" comes from the Latin probare, meaning "to try," and refers to the systematic method used in the unique formation program of the St. Francis de Sales Association. A probation consists of a month-long focus on a particular virtue or aspect of the Christian life. It is not "study," but a three-pronged concentration: first we learn by reading, then we pray or meditate to make it our own, and, ultimately, we try to put it into practice in our lives.
What is an aspirant?
An aspirant is one who is exploring the possibility of joining the association. The aspirantship is a 3-month time period with assigned reading materials and a few meetings with a companion who is assigned to guide you through this time of discernment. The aspirantship allows for a brief introduction to the association prior to committing to the longer 2-year formation. It is required, even for those who feel certain they are ready to start formation. There is no obligation to proceed with the 2-year formation. You can decide at any point during the aspirantship or during the 2-year formation not to continue.
What is a companion?
A companion is a spiritual friend who guides you through the 2-year formation, helping you follow the program and learn how to apply what you are learning to your particular life situation. A companion typically remains a lifelong friend. She is not a spiritual director and is cautioned never to intrude into areas of her charges' lives that are personal or a matter for the Sacrament of Reconciliation. She serves to facilitate your formation, helping you stay on schedule with the probations through completion, and to recommend you for consecration once you are ready. Usually, your assignment continues beyond the consecration, as all associates are required to have a companion.
How is the companion assignment made?
The regional directress assigns the companion in consultation with the group directress and associates who may know both the applicant and companions. Sometimes the applicant can request a companion known to them. It is a flexible process. If the fit is not good, the applicant is always free to ask the group directress for a change, as the relationship needs to work well for both parties.
What is an associate?
An associate is one who has completed formation and is a consecrated member of the association. Our founder preferred the term associate because we are closely associated, united to each other in a community.
What is a probanist?
A probanist is one in the midst of formation, not yet a consecrated associate.
What is a Daughter?
The term Daughter is both the traditional way of referring to our associates and an endearing term used to describe female disciples of St. Francis de Sales. Longstanding associates tend to use the term Daughter frequently, while those newer to the association may use Daughter and associate interchangeably. Originally, the relationship between companions was described as the more senior associate acting as mother to her daughter. Technically, each associate is considered to be a Daughter. Sometimes the plural term "Daughters" is used to describe the association as a whole.
What does it mean to be consecrated?
The consecration is a renewal of our baptismal promises - to live them more fully as an adult. It is made after the two years of formation and is a free choice. It is not a vow, like those made when entering religious life, but a promise made freely and out of love. A vow binds one under pain of sin and is not part of our spirituality. Essentially, our consecration is a commitment to live life according to the Gospel, the teachings of St. Francis de Sales and our Rule of Life.
What is Our Rule of Life?
Our Rule of Life is a written set of practices based on the “Introduction to the Devout Life” by Francis de Sales. The original was written in 1872 by our founder, Father Henri Chaumont, and it has been revised periodically. It is designed to help us grow in personal sanctification and the Apostolate.
Im familiar with Bible study groups. Is your association like one?
No, we are not a Bible study. Reading the Bible and discussing it is certainly a worthwhile activity many of us practice, but the association offers much more. The association provides a practical means of living a life devoted to God with a family of spiritual friends, united by the bond of love, to support us along the way.
How does your group compare to other lay Catholic spiritual societies?
Under Canon Law, we are termed a private, international association of the faithful. We are not a secular institute like Opus Dei, or a third order as are the lay groups that are affiliated with the Franciscans, Benedictines, Carmelites, and others. The St. Francis de Sales Association is unique in that it was established as a lay organization in the 1800s for the purpose of helping priests attract souls to the Lord. Only later, after our founding as a lay group, did missionaries and eventually a religious order grow out of the association.
If I start formation but then experience a life change, am I able to delay?
One of the principal aspects of the vocation to the St. Francis de Sales Association is to find salvation in the duties associated with our "state in life." Of course, major, life-changing experiences are taken into consideration. Your companion can help you discern whether it would be better to discontinue or temporarily suspend your formation.
How will my membership affect my involvement in my parish?
It should help you to see the value of your parish activities, which you are encouraged to continue, remaining an active parishioner. If in time you become more involved in the association, it will be a way to serve the Church in another capacity. You are not expected to choose between the two but be active in both your parish and the association.
Is this association sanctioned by the Church?
Yes. The Society of the Daughters of Saint Francis de Sales, of which our association is one branch, was first approved by Pius X, in 1911. Since that time, our statutes have been approved by the Vatican each time they have been amended, most recently in September of 2009. Under Canon Law, we are termed a private, international association of the faithful.
How can I find a meeting to attend?
Here is a list of group locations. We have groups that meet in person and some that meet online and even some that take a hybrid approach. To learn more about the group closest to you, please contact the association.
I do not live near any of the existing groups. Can I still become an associate?
Absolutely! As long as you are willing to be in regular contact with a spiritual companion for the 2-year formation. Many associates have done all of their formation by correspondence or phone calls. In fact, originally most companions kept in touch through letters. That said, affiliation with a group is required. Ideally, it should be one where you can most easily travel to for special events, like retreats or conferences, at least once a year. To find a group, contact the association.
Are there any membership fees?
Beginning in the first year of formation, we are asked to make an annual donation in proportion to our means for the support of the organization. There is also a modest annual subscription fee for "The Salesian Bond," our bi-monthly newsletter, which is available in both print and digital form. The costs are truly minimal in keeping with the non-profit nature of a religious organization.
The history of the St. Francis de Sales Association and how it has spread to various locations is a topic most associates never tire of hearing. Since our organization is based upon and expands by means of one-on-one relationships, which were even referred to as mother and daughter in the early days, one could trace our spiritual family's history like a genealogy, through the people who present the association to others in the form of a "family tree". Connecting one of the larger branches to such a tree would be Delphine Madill, who brought the association to the United States. This woman's life (1905-2003) was entirely devoted to serving her fellow human beings in their quest for a deeper union with God.